By: Supriya Sajja
Do you remember being a child, and your parents would say, “You can do anything you put your mind to?” Or maybe you are a parent, constantly reminding your kids of this.
From a young age, we are instilled with the mantra of “I can.” Flash forward to your current situation. The job you’re hoping to land. The financial situation that you’re wanting to achieve. The house you’re saving for. The dream you’ve always had in your heart. Does this mantra still hold true? Do you believe you can? I am finding that as we grow older, the “I cans” become more and more rare, but why?
I will be the first one to admit that I too often find myself saying, “I can’t.” It’s confronting how often we think this when it comes to many things. It’s a huge contrast from what we have been taught. But so often it is the automatic reaction when we are prompted out of our comfort zone.
Moving from a space of familiarity and comfort is hard. It’s a space that people who even enjoy change and being challenged struggle with. More often than not, the attribute that makes this hard is fear. Right when fear kicks in, without any justifiable means, we claim “I can’t.” This fear and discomfort can be brought about by a multitude of reasons- uncertainty, unfamiliarity, opposition by others and much more. All of these factors lead us to justify why we can’t do something.
But even if “can’t” is our first response, it doesn’t mean it’s true. You might be thinking, “You don’t understand my situation.” I am here to say despite your situation, simply changing your “can’ts” to “cans” can be the difference between achieving your dream or not. It is a mindset of being empowered versus being disempowered.
Often the circumstances won’t change, but if you approach something knowing that you can meet your goal, you will meet it. If you walk into a situation already defeated, you will be defeated.
I recently attended a seminar that was explaining the concept of the “Realm of Realistic.” It’s a circle, and the closer to the centre we are, the more realistic things are. But as we move further from the centre, things become more and more unlikely. Until we are outside of the circle and that’s when impossibility is brought on. The further from the centre we are, the more we make claims of “I can’t.”
So I was ready to hear something like “You need to expand your circles and believe you can do more.” Imagine my surprise when instead we were told “the circle does not exist”. The circle is a made up thing that we do. It doesn’t have a justifiable basis. It is a figment that our imaginations construct based on what we find comfortable and uncomfortable. It’s like a comfort mechanism to keep ourselves safe – but it doesn’t exist unless we say so.
You might be wondering what you can do to be empowered again. The answer is both simple and challenging. Channel your inner kid again. The kid who believed they could do anything. The kid who saw the sky as the limit and dared to do the impossible. And be the parent to yourself who says “You can do anything you put your mind to.” Your words have power, so even take it a step further by saying “I can” out loud. Dare to step out of the realm of comfort, and embrace the growth that comes in the discomfort.
Article supplied with thanks to ACCTV.
About the Author: Supriya is a young marketing professional who is passionate about people, health and wellness and connection.