Our Deepest Regrets: To Our Inner Judas

By: Brian Harris

I get to preach on Judas Iscariot this week. Yup – I drew the short straw.

Sure, someone has to do it, but how do you inspire a congregation with someone who is more infamous than Hitler? “With great difficulty”, I hear you reply – and fair enough.

Jonathan Sacks has rightly noted that the Bible is unusual in ancient literature in that its heroes have flaws and its villains have virtues. That’s in stark contrast to the lazy triumphalism that was common for the time. But does it apply to Judas? There is no doubt he was a villain – his kiss of betrayal forever an exemplar of deceit, cynicism and devious intent. But did he have virtues? Is there some part of him that calls out for our empathy?

There is lots of speculation, but one defence of Judas is that he belonged to a group known as the Zealots. The Iscariot attached to his name gives some support to this idea – for it is linked to the Sicarri or dagger men – a more extreme group within the Zealots who assassinated people in crowded settings by drawing out knives hidden within their cloaks – and then rapidly disappearing into the mob. However, they were largely active around 40-50AD – a decade after Jesus’ crucifixion, so I wouldn’t bet the farm on this.

Judas the Zealot

What’s the relevance if Judas was a Zealot? They were a Jewish political group opposed to Roman rule and willing to engage in acts of terrorism to achieve this. In this theory, Judas, as a Zealot, followed Jesus because he was convinced he would overturn Roman rule. He became increasingly frustrated by Jesus’ talk of peace and going the second mile when a Roman had only commanded you to carry his pack for one. In betraying Jesus, he hoped to force Jesus’ hand. When faced with crucifixion by the Romans, Judas reasoned that Jesus would be compelled to respond, hopefully by overturning them, and bringing about the restoration of Israel. In this view, Judas almost thought he was doing Jesus a favour – giving him a little nudge to do what he was always meant to do.

It’s certainly true that almost all Jews at the time of Jesus longed for the overturn of Rome and the restoration of Israel. Indeed, the disciples last recorded question to Jesus in Acts 1:6 is “Lord, are you at this time going to restore the kingdom to Israel?” To their disappointment, Jesus declines to be drawn into this discussion, instead informing them to wait for the coming Holy Spirit, after which they would be his witnesses in Judea, Samaria and to the end of the earth. Immediately after this, he ascends into heaven (Acts 1:6-9).

In the theory of Judas as Zealot, Judas, having overplayed his hand by forcing a confrontation between Rome and Jesus, was horrified to see that rather than overthrown the Romans, Jesus was about to be crucified by them. In real sorrow he tries to reverse his deeds, and when he can’t, hangs himself in despair at what he has done (Matt 27:3-11). This is then a story of deep regret. You can almost hear Judas groaning quietly, “But that’s not what was meant to happen. But that’s not what was meant to happen.”

Not the Only One Who Betrayed Jesus

Of course Judas was not the only one who betrayed Jesus. So did Peter, with his three fold denial. And then there is Thomas’ disbelief that Jesus had been resurrected. True, Judas’ act was more extreme, but why are Peter and Thomas let off the hook – while Judas is left to face the consequences of his action?

It’s a difficult question to answer. Most put the blame back on Judas, suggesting that somehow his sorrow was not really genuine. Perhaps – but I’m cautious about saying that too confidently. After all, you’ve got to be pretty despairing to take your own life. It’s a horrible hurdle to have to second guess if your sorrow and repentance is really up to scratch. It turns grace into works – did I do the repentance well enough?

Perhaps the issue is that Judas doesn’t consider the possibility of forgiveness. You can understand how he probably thought. After such betrayal, how could I ever be forgiven. It’s simply not an option… Except it was… and that’s the tragedy of Judas. He persistently underestimates the grace, love and forgiveness of God. He spends three years with the Messiah, but doesn’t realise that Jesus’ agenda is so much larger than Judas’ parochial wish list. And the thing he most overlooked was that God’s love is so much more expansive than he ever dared to dream.

Let’s remember that Jesus appointed Judas as treasurer for his band of disciples. It’s an interesting choice. Should we simply draw some consolation from this and say, “and I thought I made some bad staff appointments”? Perhaps – but I think there is more to this. Don’t tell me that Judas’ treasurer role was entirely co-incidental. I view it as deeply invitational. It’s as though Jesus is saying to Judas, “I see something in you that you might not see in yourself. You can be an especially honoured member of my disciples. I trust you with our funds. I invite you to live up to my trust.”

Jesus does a similar thing on betrayal night. Do you remember how he passed a piece of bread, specially dipped in a dish, to Judas. Traditionally such special treatment was reserved for especially important guests. It is as though Jesus is giving Judas a final chance, as though he is asking him a question. “Which Judas will you be? The specially honoured guest, or the betrayer?” Judas makes his fatal decision, summed up graphically in John 13:27-30… “Satan entered into him….he went out. And it was night.” Opportunity turned down, Satan enters, and an endless night for Judas begins. It is hauntingly sad.

Where Did It All Go Wrong?

So, where did it all go wrong for Judas?

In Matt 6:22-23 Jesus teaches, “The eye is the lamp of the body. If you eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be filled of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness.” If you muddle light and darkness, that is a tragedy without easy remedy. It’s about grossly distorted perspective.

I imagine when Judas heard Jesus teach “if someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles” (Matt 5:41) he probably thought, “As if! You must be mad! Never in a thousand years.” He could have thought, “Well, that’s a different way of thinking about things. Perhaps Romans are humans too – and a bit of help doesn’t have to go amiss. And even if that isn’t it – well, in opting to go an extra mile I am staking my own claim to freedom. Instead of anger I choose love and service. You don’t control my response. I am still free to surprise you by being the bigger person.”

And then there was that strange incident in Bethany, when Mary anoints Jesus with an incredibly expensive perfume. Judas could have viewed it as a generous act to help Jesus through an exceptionally difficult time. Instead he viewed it as a lost opportunity for him to steal the funds that would have been raised by its sale – for as John 12:6 notes, “he was a thief; as keeper of the money bag he used to help himself to what was put into it.” Judas looked at those around him without compassion – and reaped what he sowed. His perspective was hopelessly muddled. Instead of being grateful, he felt he could teach Jesus a thing or two… such a waste – such a terrible waste of the extraordinary opportunity to be part of a band of disciples who changed the world for the good.

How Does This Relate to Me?

While an interesting story, what does this have to do with us? I can almost hear you say it: “I might be bad, but I’m really not that bad.” Hmmm, probably not. But isn’t there something in the story that is a little unsettling – something that makes you wonder, “Is this ever me?”

Is there a Judas within who sometimes confuses light and darkness – and then stubbornly digs in and won’t budge. Or what about our deepest regrets – we’ve been over the rationalisations a thousand times, but we know, we most deeply know, that without grace, we are undone. Even if Judas would or could not contemplate forgiveness – hopefully we who have seen the resurrection, know that we can have a different story.

OK – so what about the unanswerable question: Is Judas forever damned? What do you think? Is the last word over Judas’ life yet to be spoken. Will God’s love turn out to be greater than we even dare to dream.

I don’t know, and of course we must leave this to God. But I have learnt one thing. You can’t out love God – and even our deepest regrets may one day be turned into our deepest gratitudes. It is unspeakably sad that Judas was a thief. It is unspeakably sad that Judas wasted the unrepeatable opportunity that was his. It is unspeakably sad that Judas betrayed Jesus. It is unspeakably sad that Judas took his life. But the last word has yet to be spoken, and that word is always Gods.

 


Article supplied with thanks to Brian Harris.

About the Author: Brian is a speaker, teacher, leader, writer, author and respected theologian who is founding director of the AVENIR Leadership Institute, fostering leaders who will make a positive impact on the world.

Feature image: Photo by Francesco Alberti on Unsplash