By: Susan Browning
There’s a dialogue in my mind, a culmination of words I’ve heard over the years said about me, spoken to me and the conversation I have with myself. The minor declarations in the hurt of a moment when repeated create the pathway to edify our inability and lack of self worth.
We tend to fixate on the negative and allow verbal injury to hijack His narrative; we incline our heart towards hurt instead of Him. We keep these words safe in our minds, by feeding them with acceptance; we turn the lie into an absolute, now a festering truth resonating into every facet of our lives. Into the way we speak to others, the way we lead, the way we love.
God is challenging us to really connect with the thought cycle we empower and learn how to receive others’ words well. Instead, begin to learn to receive how He would speak of us, regardless of the feedback you found really unhelpful and untrue. Or the gossip that isolated you and broke your heart. He wants to pivot our lives on His grace and see the truth – as He sees us in Heaven.
But how do we do this? How do we get better at learning to discern what is truth? Oh the struggle is real… I know this one all too well as I’m sure you do. I used to care so incredibly what other people thought or said about me. I’d take on anything spoken into the stratosphere along with the belief that every word uttered was quantifiable in my life.
But God has so much more for us, if we choose to listen. We have the power to speak into our own narrative, the option to choose. We stand on His authority as Author of our lives – God knows who we really are: valued, accepted, called, qualified, strong, capable, gifted and loved beyond reason.
So if that is our measure, I want so desperately how I see myself to be how He sees me. I want to receive truth, life giving truth in our conversations. Not a fake or pretentious statement, but an authentic understanding that what I hold on to will shape my overflow. How I see myself, will define how I live and I want every breath to be legitimately founded in His view not anyone else’s.
May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer. – Psalm 19:14
As I’ve wrestled with how I choose to receive some of my own words, God has has been unpacking the importance of foundations – where is it coming from?
T.H.I.N.K Before you Receive
So let’s settle here a minute, and ask yourself this before you take on what someone has said, or even what you are saying to yourself:
T – Is it TRUE?
H – Is it HELPFUL?
I – Is it INSPIRING?
N – Is it NECESSARY?
K – Is it KIND?
Take an honest look at what has been said and ask yourself if there is any truth. If there is, be brave enough to work through what you need to work through to grow, but if it isn’t then you need to let it go. Which I totally know is so much easier said than done. When there is no truth to a statement we need to get good at knowing our identity is in Christ, not in an other’s opinion. Because that’s all it really is, it’s an opinion and if there is no truth then it carries no weight. Surrender your heart to the Lord, forgive them, bless them and work through your hurt with Jesus, with grace.
There are so many different components to words spoken into and over our lives – ones we didn’t know we accumulated in the moment or words we were so wounded by we still carry the scar. Either way, let’s consider some other elements by looking into the foundations of these words:
Is this from a trusted source, a trusted friend who has your best interests at heart or is there an agenda attached? Is a response required: change, forgiveness, apologise, bless? Will you choose to let this derail you or grow you? Is there any maliciousness to what has been said – because hurt people hurt people. The answers to these questions help us discern with wisdom if we are to carry these words or hand them over. When we feel betrayed we have a choice in how to respond – let’s choose wisely so our words would in turn bring life into those we vent or debrief with.
When love and life are spoken, not only do you and others flourish, there is a language culture created which becomes a contagious overflow into the nature of your relationships. We then create a safe place for people to feel they can truly be themselves, to fully step into their gifting and flourish as they serve the Kingdom’s purposes authentically. We’re not just responsible for the words we speak out into other peoples lives, we’re also for responsible for the words we choose to take on and receive – from others or the thought life we entertain. Who’s voice will you keep in agreement with? The voice inside your mind reiterating failure, not good-enough’s and rejection, or the truth we have been liberated and are now found whole in Him – not someone’s opinion. We speak from what we have heard, so hear Him loud and clear sweet one and let’s declare His authority in place of anyone else or ourselves.
Article supplied with thanks to Susan Browning.
About the Author: Susan is a worship leader, vocal coach and mentor encouraging you to be all you can be in fulfilling your purpose.